Saturday Action Matinee

Scouts to the Rescue (1939), Chapter 12: “The Boy Scouts Triumph”

The Resolution: I think it’s obvious that the purpose of every chapter in a serial is to get to back to watch the next chapter. But what is the purpose of the last chapter? According to the writers here, it’s to throw something-or-other on the screen and get the damned thing done. The paycheck’s already cashed, so who cares?

Observe: We left Bruce as he hurtled earthward, falling off a cliff after a mountain lion spooked Rip into letting go of his rope. The first thing we see new this chapter is Marvin and Scanlon arriving on the scene; they scare away the mountain lion with a shot. To do this, they would have had to go around or somehow miss the gangsters who were out front of the cabin, having just shot up a row of bushes that they thought concealed G-Men — gangsters who, last chapter, had a clear view of the cliff face that Bruce, Rip and Mary were ascending.

And aside from that — what did Bruce land on or in? A haystack? A surprisingly soft pine tree? A previously-nonexistent body of water? I don’t know, and neither do you; we just see Bruce climbing back up to the ledge where Mary lies stunned. Marvin and Scanlon somehow instantly get above Bruce to where Rip is, and help Rip haul Bruce and Mary up by a rope that now has no business being there, Rip having dropped it completely last time.

“Eh, we’ve already got their money. Why make sense?”

The Narrative: Meanwhile, the two gangsters have heard the shot by which Marvin drove off the mountain lion, and come to investigate. (Note: Now there is NO cliff between the gangsters and the good guys.) Marvin immediately puts the drop on them — not just Marvin, but the two other G-Men. Where’d they come from? Shut up, that’s where. Then Bruce realizes that other gangsters will be coming back to the cabin hideout immediately (because, um, they also realize that this is the last chapter?), so Marvin, Bruce and G-Man #1 sneak back to the cabin (and by “sneak” I mean “walk boldly down the center of the dirt road”) while Scanlon, Rip and G-Man #2 take the two captured gangsters back to lock up in Ghost Town in the car the G-Men arrived in.

As luck script would have it, one of the gangsters has made it back to the cabin in the three minutes that it’s been unoccupied (his name is “Pug,” but it’s a little late to start remembering names). Marvin and G-Man #1 sensibly leave Bruce back while they “surround” the cabin, but Pug saw through their sneaky plan of walking boldly down the road, sighted them, and hightailed it out the back door before they got there. Then another car comes up, full of the last three gangsters, and together with Pug they surround the cabin themselves.

But these are the extra-stupid brand of gangsters, the kind that leaves the motor running even though they’re on top of a mountain with the nearest service station miles away. First Bruce uses the car horn to give a Morse code warning to Marvin before the gangsters attack, then he drives the car back to Ghost Town (I swear, it’s a block and a half) to pick up Scanlon, G-Man #2 and Rip to help besiege the besiegers.

After much shooting, the gangsters are all either caught or killed except for Turk, the ringleader. He jumps into the unattended car (jeez, does EVERYONE on this mountain leave the motor running), but Bruce jumps right after him — it’s a convertible — and they grapple while the car drives unattended down a winding mountain road, rolling out just before it goes over a cliff.

Marvin et al arrive before professional criminal Turk tears apart clean-living teen Bruce, Turk is arrested, and there are congratulations all around. After all, that’s what this was all about. Catching the counterfeiters, and most especially Turk, who is wanted for murder. Had you forgotten that rounding up the counterfeiters was the point of it all? Me, too.

As an epilogue, the tough kids back in town are shocked to see Rip is now a Boy Scout — so shocked that the last thing we see is Bruce administering the Scout Oath to the rest of the toughs, now in full Scout uniforms with Smokey Bear hats.

Um, notice what’s missing? That’s right: The Indians. After they were spooked from their cave by dynamite a couple of chapters back, they ran right out of the plotline and out of the memories of all who encountered them. There’s not even one of those contrived “Maybe we should let their secret stay a secret” justifications; there’s simply no mention of them. Sigh.

Final Thoughts: The twelve chapters that lasted almost two years! Why did it take me from January 2008 to get through 235 minutes of footage? Well, for one thing, I had a stroke and was out of commission for several months. I think that gives me a couple of Get Out Of Jail Free cards right there. And for another thing, my Saturdays have gotten busier little by little; sometimes, twenty minutes to watch a chapter and forty minutes to write it up simply weren’t available.

But there was also the fact that Scouts to the Rescue was incredibly lackluster. All of my children, who normally watching these serials with me, had deserted me by about the fifth chapter; I would have jumped ship and gone on to one of the couple dozen other serials I’ve got stacked up around here except for my deranged sense of duty.

That’s right, I did it for you. You’re welcome.

Next Week: Something completely different!